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4 Simple Self Defense Techniques

When it comes to basic self defense technique, it does not have to be complicated, and in fact it (the technique) will arguably be MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE if it is kept VERY SIMPLE. During intense periods of stress and/or panic, the human mind will seemingly slow down, you may get tunnel vision, and you will react mostly only by muscle memory. Complicated tasks will become seemingly impossible during those seconds or moments. Until you have experienced this unique phenomenon, it is difficult to fully grasp the affect. Just trust this… it is true – it happens this way.

So, with firearms out of the equation for this short discussion, here are a few thoughts and tips to consider.

Chop

Flatten your hand, palm facing down. The chop should strike while using the edge of your hand near the wrist. The throat and the nose are good targets.

Chin Jab

With the hand pressed back, use the heel of the hand to smash an upward strike under the attacker’s chin at close range (half-arm’s-length or less). This could break the attackers jaw or neck.

Side Kick

As the name implies, the kick is performed to the side, not the front or rear. Lift the leg about knee-height while keeping it fairly close to the other ‘standing’ leg. Snap it out like a piston at the attackers KNEE. It doesn’t matter which part of the knee or the direction of the attacker because the knee is weak and will likely break regardless.

Fingertip Thrust

Flatten out the hand, palm down, and extend the fingers. Thrust the fingers straight into the attacker’s eyes. It is brutal, but simple.

Self-defense tips for men

Before I get started with the tips, you need to understand that this is not a definitive list. There is obviously a lot more to say about this topic but the concept of a “tip” revolves around practical information you can use relatively quickly or it serves as an eye-opener. It gives you specific information for direct use or it makes you understand something crucial. This is in stark contrast with “studying”, which means working hard and continuously to increase knowledge, understanding and skill. So think of these tips as a bunch of ideas for you to think about right now and see how you can implement them. They aren’t rocket science, there’s nothing in them that you can’t understand. The challenge is only in doing them.

Another point is that I’m writing with men and their typical mindset in mind. Sure, there will be overlap for women but right now, that’s not my focus. Perhaps another time.

Finally, the tips are mostly geared towards handling social violence. They are not as applicable to dealing with criminal violence where the rules are a little different.

That said, let’s get started.

Self-defense tips for men: fighting sometimes really sucks…

Self-defense tips for men #1: Forget what you see on the screen.

The vast majority of movies and TV-series fail miserably when it comes to  portraying realistic violence and self-defense. Unfortunately, there is just so much nonsense on the screen that it makes its way into the collective psyche and many men think that’s how it really is. Then they get into a fight and discover they were wrong. For example: telling a gangbanger “he doesn’t have the guts” to shoot you when he demands your wallet is a surefire way to get killed. Not for Bruce Willis or Jason Statham in the movies but for you, yes it is.

You’d think that all men would get this and I’m sure they do when they think about it while sober and alone. But pour a few beers into them, get them together with their buddies and they’re chest-thumping and cussing while they get right into that gangbanger’s face. And then they don’t understand why they get shot…

This is just an example and an extreme one at that but there are many more. Replace the gangbanger robbing you with a guy who quickly drove into “your” parking spot and the same thing applies: common sense is often lacking with men when they are faced with such a situation.

My point is this: the human mind, like nature, abhors a vacuum. It will fill in that vacuum in any way it can. So if you have no actual experience with violence, you will form your opinions about it somehow. And no matter how much you tell yourself that “it’s just a movie” your mind is still absorbing that information subconsciously. Given enough repetition, you might be surprised about how much disinformation you actually soak up. So forget about the movie violence or the way they portray self-defense situations and how to handle them. 99.99% of the time, they get it wrong. If you do have experience with violence, you already know this is true.

Self-defense tips for men #2: Live, love and be happy.

Say what? Yes indeed. Live a good life. Love your significant other, family and friends. And be as happy as you can be, every single day. If you focus on those things, you are less likely to make the mistakes that get you in the kind of trouble that results in violence. You’ll be able to let go of the issues that aren’t worth fighting over simply because you have something worth losing: a frikkin’ awesome life.

The trouble with violence is that it tends to escalate and become uncontrollable real fast. It is also an unpredictable beast: I’ve punched people full-power in the face and had them stare at me. In contrast, a guy was just put on trial over here for killing a 19-year old kid. What happened? The kid spilled some beer over his shirt and refused to apologize. The guy punch him once. The kid fell, cracked his skull and died. In front of plenty of witnesses.

That guy can now say goodbye to his life as it was before.  He’s toast.

For the record, he had taken some krav maga classes. Guess what the lawyers brought up during the trial? Guess again about the kind of violent killer they portrayed him to be…

So especially if you practice martial arts or combatives, think twice before you let your ego and emotions take you places you will regret going. It’s easy to go there in the heat of the moment though, adrenaline and tempers being what they are. But if you have an awesome life to get back to, it’s much easier to walk away when somebody smudges your Pumas.

Self-defense tips for men #3: Know yourself.

The focus of men who want to learn self-defense skills is usually on the bad guys, the aggressors they’ll have to handle when things take a wrong turn. That is definitely an important issue but it isn’t the only one. Because it assumes that the problem will always be with somebody else, which is not always true. You’re half of the equation in a fight, your motivations and actions will definitely influence whether it turns to blows or not.

Sure, there are situations you can’t deescalate. Some people will go out of their way to pick a fight. But a lot (perhaps even most) of the potential conflicts can be avoided if you keep your head screwed on correctly. If you can keep it together, you’ll be able to focus on finding solutions for the problem, not taking his bait or just leave. To be able to do that, you need to stay cool. To be able to stay cool, you need to know what sets you off.

We all have our hot buttons, not much you can do about that. But you can be aware of them and make sure they don’t get pushed. Or at the very least, recognize when they are being pushed and then getting clear of the person doing the pushing. Before you do something you’ll regret later on or you end up escalating the conflict into violence because the guy pissed you off.

Putting it a bit differently: you can avoid the need for self-defense if you avoid the conflict. Avoiding a conflict is easier done with a cool head. So make sure you know what makes you lose your cool.

Self-defense tips for men #4: He’s human too.

That guy who’s in your face calling you names? The guy who cuts you off in traffic and flips you the bird? The one who’s eyeballing you with murder in his eyes because you bumped his shoulder? He’s human, just like you. There are reasons why he acts like that. Reasons you may never know or understand, but they are real to him. Everything I said in tip #2 applies to him too but it looks like he’s throwing that advice to the wind. Something (You? Somebody else? Some pre-existing problem?) is making him act like that and you can be sure he feels he is in the right and you are wrong.

This is true for most people, barring certain criminals and other populations: he isn’t the bad guy in his own mind. He’s the hero in the movie of his life that plays inside his head. To him, you are the bad guy. Obviously, you feel the same way about him but here’s the thing: you can both be right. Conflicts are not always black and white. You could very well both be to blame for whatever you’re getting into a fight over.

If you can understand that, it’s easier for you to walk away and avoid the conflict altogether. If you don’t feel the need to be right all the time and prove it to the world, you can walk away and leave the other guy to his illusion of being “right”.

Mind you, I didn’t say you have to like the guy or turn the other cheek. Not at all. Understanding his motivations in no way means approval of his actions. Feel free to think he’s an asshole. Or do what I do, pity the fool and walk away, back to your awesome life of which he will no longer be a part of, ever.

Self-defense tips for men #5: Get over yourself.

This tip is the flip side of the previous one: don’t be the bad guy to other people. A large portion of violent incidents can be avoided by simply getting over yourself, by not letting your ego or sense of entitlement make the decisions. Yes, it is your right to be loud and boisterous in a biker bar. But it’s not a smart move is it? It is absolutely your right to give that guy who cuts in line a piece of your mind; free speech and all that. But calling him a “shit-for-brains retard” is probably not going to do much to defuse the situation. And so on.

In so many cases, men let their testosterone take over and shoot from the hip instead of taking a step back. In part, this is because of how our brains are wired. But that doesn’t mean you have to accept this as an unchangeable fact of life. You can change your knee-jerk responses but only if you really want to. It takes a lot of trial and error, effort, time and determination, but it can most certainly be done. All it really takes is the conscious decision to get over yourself and then stick to it. Or to put it into a practical context:

Whenever you think “It’s my goddamned right to…”

- See more at: http://www.wimsblog.com/2013/04/self-defense-tips-for-men/#sthash.MRqHxoax.dpuf

WOMEN'S SELF DEFENSE BOSTON - SELF 

DEFENSE FOR WOMEN IN BOSTON

Warning Signs

Most physically violent encounters are preceded by an aggressor posturing. Most of us have seen, or encountered this, where the person juts their chin forward, shouts obscenities, makes threats, and spreads their arms wide. Posturing is a clear indication that someone is considering physically harming us, however in and of itself it doesn’t indicate that a person is ready to make an assault. Posturing serves two basic purposes: one, to intimidate the target, and cause them to either back away or become too scared to be able to respond to any physical attack (literally freezing the person into inaction), and two, to get the assailant to an emotional place/level where they are prepared and ready to make their assault. Posturing can contain signals that the person engaging in this behavior doesn’t want to fight as well as signals, that the “talking” phase is over and they’re about to launch their assault.

The problem with a lot of the physiological...

Denial - Recognizing The Signs

Denial, is a common and normal the response we have when our adrenal system is triggered, and we become aware that we might be in danger. Two 19^th Century Scholars, William James and Carl Lange, working independently came to similar conclusions about how our fear system operates – this is now referred to as the James-Lange theory. Most people naturally think that the order of events when scared is as follows: You see a bear, you become afraid, and because of the fear for your safety you run. Both James and Lange postulated that this wasn’t in fact the order of events and what really happens is as follows: You see a bear, you start to run and because you are running you recognize/understand that you are afraid. In effect what they are suggesting is that it is due to a change in your emotional state that you recognize you are in danger, not because you first consciously identify the threat.

Removing Heads From Sand

A large part of this is down to the fact that in an interview the employer is looking at the candidates suitability and eligibility to perform the tasks and responsibilities that would be given to them as part of the job, not whether they are likely to be aggressive and violent towards other employees - this is doubly difficult when aggressive/violent people know how to hide or justify their previous actions and behaviors. At base, the issue is one of awareness; knowing what to look for and recognizing when you see it - even if it is disguised and hidden.

Workplace Violence

I was recently interviewed concerning a stabbing at a Home Depot store in Quincy, MA. Both the victim and the attacker were employees. This brought up the subject of workplace violence. It always surprises me that there aren’t more instances of violence in the workplace; after all work is one of the few places we have to deal with, and communicate with people we haven’t chosen to be with i.e. the work environment is one that we have little or no control over the people we interact with. From what can be gathered concerning the incident at the Quincy Home Depot, it involved two employees who had a history of disputes, disagreements, arguments and aggressive behavior/actions between them. In any other setting they would never have met or interacted, and if they had come across each other they’d have probably both walked away, in the opposite direction, and had no further communication/interaction. Unfortunately the workplace doesn’t afford us this luxury of choice

Gradings & Lifting Weights

I have always enjoyed lifting weights. One of the main reasons is because it’s honest. You can’t talk a bar up above your head, you have to lift it. Either you can or you can’t it’s as simple as that. Self Defense should be the same however all the abilities needed to be effective on the street can be difficult to test and prove. The UFC and MMA tried to get close but they were only able to replicate one dimension of a real-life conflict and had to take out some of the key elements that define reality, such as being surprised when attacked and recovering from a sucker punch etc. along with other more physical components such as multiple assailants and weapons. In some instances rather than reflect reality, instructors and schools have chosen to educate their students as to a reality that fits their techniques, skills and beliefs concerning what a real-life fight looks like e.g. two handed chokes from the front and back, pushing, pulling etc.

It's that time of year - the leaves are changing colours, the air is getting cooler, and Halloween is fast approaching. With Halloween, there are parties to go to, drinks to drink, and the chance to dress up. It is with increasing popularity that women are gravitating towards revealing and sexy costumes, so I think that this is a great time of year to keep in mind some important safety tips when you're out and about, enjoying your Halloween festivities: 

1. Watch your drinks - Keep your drink with you at all times. Walk around with your hand covering the top of your cup so that it deters someone from slipping something in it. If someone is going to buy you a drink, walk with them to the bar and have the bartender pass you the drink personally. If you have to put your drink down even for a second, just buy a new one (it's not worth the risk). Roofies are surprisingly easy to acquire and they're cheap. According to one American study, date rape accounts for almost 60% of all reported rapes (Vis-A-Vis, USA, 1992.). 

2. Buddy System - Do your best to party with a friend, and make sure that you each look out for each other. If your friend is taking an inordinately long time at the bathroom, go check on her; 

if your friend appears as though she's had too much to drink or things seem out of sort, get her to safety; make sure that you each get home safely; go to and from the party together if possible. Also, where and when possible, take a cab together. There have been a surprising number of sexual assaults in cabs, especially of inebriated women. If you are drunk and by yourself, make an obvious phone call to a friend or boyfriend, "I'm going to be home in 10 minutes. I'm in a cab at Queen W and Dufferin St." Small acts like this can prove to be powerful deterrents. 

3. Cover up while in transit - I have no problem with wanting to dress in your sexiest costume, but just remember that there are inherent risks that are associated with choosing to do so. Firstly, while you will garner attention, you will also attract unwanted attention, which you need to be prepared for. I wish the world was different, but it isn't. As part of your preparation, do what you can to minimize this unwanted attention by throwing on a jacket or sweater over your costume while getting to your destination tonight. When you are in a controlled environment (i.e. the party), it is easier for you to rely on the help of friends, security, and (hopefully) other party-goers if you need help. 

4. Communicate boundaries effectively - If you're chatting with a cute guy, and it's the end of the night, and he is looking for more action than you are prepared to give, make sure that you communicate that appropriately and effectively. "No. I don't feel comfortable doing anything tonight." If he presses you, be firm and simply say, "No" with your voice trailing down at the end, to show that you mean business. It is important that the words that you say match your vocal pitch. If your voice goes up at the end, or shows flightiness or flirtatiousness, then he will disregard the words you are saying in favour for the pitch that you are communicating. Words and pitch always have to match, so if your words mean business, make sure that your pitch also communicates that. 

5. Put your phone and earbuds away - predators rely on the ability to exploit vulnerabilities, and the fact that your eyes are on your phone, or that you can't hear him approaching you from behind because you're listening to music puts him at a marked advantage. If you are traveling by yourself, it is especially important to put your phone away so that you can use your eyes to scan around your environs and know where people are in relation to you. Keep your ears open - do you hear someone walking behind you? Turn around and look. Many women ignore the urge to turn around and see who's walking behind them out of the misguided fear that they will hurt the man's feelings or seem silly for looking. It's always better to look - if he's a nice guy who means you no harm, he'll probably just feel bad for scaring you; if he's a potential threat, now he knows that you a) know what he looks like, b) can identify him in the future if you have to, and c) he no longer has the element of surprise working for him. 

Have fun, and be safe!